o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize