youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
