Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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