Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
