I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
