WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize