I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
