It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
