If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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