the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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