apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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