that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
