so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
