I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
