Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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