hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
