I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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