My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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