i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
