well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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