Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
