the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
