He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
