Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
