It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
