Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Randomize
