I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize