I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
