yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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