Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
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I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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