Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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