I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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