On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Damn victory sex feels great
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize