You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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