would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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