my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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