She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
