I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
