He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
