maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
