Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
