Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I lost the right to judge tonight
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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