I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
