You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
