The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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