I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Couch. On fire.
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