HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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