the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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