Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
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do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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