If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
