I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I don't think brook has ever known best
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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