but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
