i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
