The maid of honor just puked.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
