that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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