I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
