I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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