so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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