the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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