jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
