hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize